Home-finding

Wandering the grounds, seeking. Searching.

When home can be found anywhere, can it also be nowhere?
Belonging, a feeling state. But it is also a state of mind.

My home can always be with me, because it is in me. But how can one truly understand the feeling of belonging, without carrying the feeling of isolation inside somewhere?

I carry two hearts in my chest:

The grounded lover. Beating strong and steadily. Knowing its way. Never in doubt of the support and comfort, surrounding it. Never second guessing past decisions. Knowing whom to turn to. A loving nurturer and a fearless rock in the storm.

And the rootless traveller. Fluttering beat, always restless, seeking evermore. Yearning to find something that is belonging. A mere notion of what could be.
Its path seems crooked; goose-stepping on gravelled roads. Yearning to be strong, but wandering hauntingly confused through frail facade.

“How can we truly understand what it means to belong, if we never feel isolation and solitude”, the traveller asks? “Don’t we need to know that feeling, so we can appreciate it more when we finally come home?”

“But beloved”, the lover replies warmly. “We are home. We have always been. We are one. We are everything. We cannot not belong! What you are seeking is nothing you can ever find, because you already are it." 
"When you feel lost and ungrounded it is, because you are turning away from yourself.”

“But I have that need”, the rootless traveller replies with a throbbing voice. “Whenever I lose my direction, I need to go out and explore and find a new path. That’s my destiny. Until I find where I truly belong.”

“Dear love, what you seek is connection, not home. And that you can never lose in the first place.”

A breath later the lover continues. “But I understand your unsettled feeling. It is so, because you feel alone in loneliness and pain.”
“That must be so soul-stirring, dear!” A loving hand strokes the rootless traveller. “But you aren’t the only one. I feel this loneliness, too. For the only difference is, that I don’t feel alone with it. I have you.”
“How can you be so sure, when I have never told you this!”, the rootless traveller insists.

“Because we are the same. Let me share your loneliness with you. Let me show you connection, by sharing this sadness. The same sadness that I, too, know. Let us find together, what truly you are seeking. Let us be together in our weakness."

“Thank you. I feel found, now that I know you share my pain.”